A delectable fusion of the Andrews Sisters, George Formby and Mae West, ukulele/close-harmony trio The Strumpettes have been teasing and pleasing the crowds since Clara Bow was still a virgin (but miraculously none of them has aged a day since 1920) The Strumpettes play all the best swing songs from the likes of Glen Miller, Benny Goodman and Billie Holiday delivered in their own stripped-down and sassy style.
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Miss Velma Valentine
- the 16th daughter
of a family of Irish immigrants,
Velma grew up on the back streets of Brooklyn and quickly learned the
value
of her sweet voice and pretty face by busking in the subway and
(allegedly) picking pockets. Before long she was the star attraction on
the New York cabaret circuit before taking on the world with the
Strumpettes. Her name has been linked to several well-known robberies -
notably the vanishing of the priceless Sapphire of Zambugo. However, she is quick to stress that these rumours are "nothing but damn dirty lies". |
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Miss Kitty Kowalski
- once the heir to one of Poland's wealthiest
aristocratic lines, Katia Waleria Lechsinska Kowalski is now the sole
survivor of this once great family, having managed to smuggle herself
out of the country during the infamous uprisings hidden inside a vodka
barrel. She was shipped to New Orleans, where she earned her living
singing in the seedy jazz bars of Bourbon Street until running into the
other Strumpettes. It was during this time that she discovered her uncanny talent for poker thanks to the many hours she spent playing cards with her childhood governess. |
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Miss Dolores Valentine
- Dolores, or 'Dolly', began her life singing for her supper with Velma in the New York subway at the tender age of 5. But one day, following a rush-hour mix-up at Penn Station, she accidentally wound up in Chicago without a nickel to her name. Never one to be deterred, Dolly landed herself a job in a speakeasy where she worked as a waitress for the next 11 years. At 16, she hooked up with a real swell feller named Al. Unfortunately Al turned out to be the head of the Chicago mob and was soon shipped off to Alcatraz.
Dolly quickly replaced Al with a suave moustachioed guy she met at the Ritz - none other than matinee screen idol Errol Flynn. Their marriage lasted just 3 days due to serial womanising on both sides, and Dolly's name has since been attached to a string of famous lovers, including Tallulah Bankhead and Farley Granger. Velma and Dolly were reunited at a Howard Hawks charity benefit where Dolly was trying to hook Howard, and Velma was trying to hook Howard's wallet. |
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Miss Scarlett Monroe
is the love child of Marilyn Monroe and Roger Rouge, the famous French contortionist. Scarlett was seen as an embarrassment to Marilyn (who had just signed her first major film contract) and was shipped off to a school for performing monkeys and other mammals before being picked up by The Strumpettes while singing a sick dolphin to sleep at New York City Zoo. She can currently be seen performing as her alter ego Ruby, of Ruby and the RibCage fame, though you'll still find her propping up the bar at Strumpettes shows from time to time. |
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Miss Bettina
Winters - the notorious
love child of a German film star and an ex US President (no need to
tell you which ones...), Betty became a high-class society girl at
a very young age, drifting from country to
country and party to party before finally kicking the opium and joining
the Strumpettes. She is perhaps best known for her string of famous
lovers and it is rumoured that Valentino turned gay when he realised
that he could never have her. Betty left The Strumpettes to follow the man of her dreams to the other side of the world and can now be seen strumming her stuff in Sydney, Australia. |